Lost In Yesterday: The Art of Letting Go

Article by Katy Nelson

While pursuing a B.S. in English, using language as my medium, I kept sketching in the margins. Writing served as a partial creative outlet, but I couldn’t let go of an interest in visual art. Drawing, painting, and sculpture allowed me to explore ideas further than language could. These media can give language to the unspeakable and expose deep truth about the world around us, while writing can aid in discerning those “truths.”

Stuck

So I participated in campus Coffee House (art/talent show) and included some of my drawings in my assignments, but didn’t invest in my practice seriously until the year after graduation. Since then, I’ve focused on fine-tuning my style, portfolio, and submitting work to local galleries. All that to say, despite a background in English I find most of my fulfillment in doing artwork outside of my current mode of income.

Much of my current art revolves around nostalgia. The tricky thing with memory is that it often changes with time, along with our feelings related to it. Through creating visual art, I’ve noticed that I often distort my own memory by becoming overly nostalgic. This kind of recollection prevents one from moving forward and enjoying the present.

Self

The most recent and reoccurring memories for me come from my time in Minnesota as a kid. It took me moving back to the state after college to figure out that I couldn’t revisit those feelings and experiences of the past. Truly, ghosts began haunting me. Voices and laughter echoed in my mind and kept me from revisiting certain people and places. It became so intense that I quit creating altogether for a time.

These “apparations” and self isolation greatly contributed to my decision to move back in with my parents. The feelings didn’t automatically disappear, but the ability to express myself creatively slowly reappeared and helped tremendously. When exploring periods of the past in art, I was gifted the language and opportunity to let go of the feelings of obsessive nostalgia attached.

Ceremony

Holding on to certain memories because I’m afraid of forgetting or losing a feeling that doesn’t really exist anymore (grasping at phantoms, so to speak)—afraid to lose something unreal—when brought to light via art, becomes ridiculous. Memorializing the past allows me to move on without forgetting, which is why I’m now deeply invested when depicting places and periods of sentiment. Because art assists in exposing a lie, it becomes the best tool for dealing with nostalgia. As much as I’d like it to, longing for the past doesn’t bring it back.

Now I see my art become a practice in patience: not dwelling in the past or rushing to predict the future. In using the creative process for discernment, there’s a lot of unearthing to do. As songwriter Kevin Parker sings,

“You’re gonna have to let it go someday

You’ve been digging it up like Groundhog Day

Cause it might’ve been something, don’t say

Cause it hurts to be lost in yesterday”

Thanks for tuning in to my TedTalk haha. My name’s Katy. I’m an artist based in the U.S. of A. You can find more about my art and my creative endeavors here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katys_studio_/#